Not Wanting to Feel Old: Slice of Life: 3/3/2010

There are times when I feel like I am about 10 and there are times when I truly feel like I am 41.  But rarely do I feel like I am older than my actual age.

The youthful moments always seem to be when I am joking with my 4th graders or playing soccer with my own kids.  Monday mornings and when seeing my not-so-gently receding hairline remind me that I am over four decades old.

This notion that I am feeling much older than 41 has everything to do with my mom and dad.  They are both relatively young (63 and 64), but due to some health concerns they sure seem a lot older than they are.  My mom has serious bone density issues and my dad recently injured his back.  Due to this, I have been driving to my parent's house a little more frequently.  

Tomorrow will mark the second time that I need to miss part of a school day (which makes me feel young) to take my mom to a pain treatment session for microfractures in her spine (which makes me feel way too old).  My very proud dad had to enlist my help, because he can't help my mom into their car.  Her small, fragile body coupled with intense pain makes it nearly impossible to climb into their SUV without help.

I have been watching my parents get older for 41 years now, but lately they seem to be aging in dog years.  Considering your own aging process while watching the not so graceful aging of your parents is a rather cruel punishment.  I know I am being the "good son" and "doing the right thing" but as I type this I am longing for the days when I was playing soccer with my dad and my mom was wearing her movie star sunglasses, smiling away.

Later,

Tony

Comments

[Enbuscadeequilibrio.blogspot.com]

I wanted to read this slice because Sunday I will turn 30. However, once I started to read I could connect with my own parents who are about the same age. My mom often talks about how her hands are changing and how she is can't do certain things such as skip anymore. You captured the phase of realizing your parents are growing older so well. Your last sentence especially carried a lot of impact.

-Mrs. V

[Nora Galvin]

I agree with Mrs. V that your last sentence is really powerful. I can relate to the dissonance you feel about the shifts in family roles-- the visceral need to have your parents stay the way you remember and want them to be.

[E. Eastmond]

I just found your posts, and so am enjoying them--backwards.
I felt the same way as you did last year, when I sliced (http://peninkpaper.blogspot.com/2010/03/approaching-limit.html). It's sobering because it also means you step up in line, it means you are older--and don't we all fight that one?

My parents have bounced back in some ways from last year's story, but frayed a little more around the edges in other ways. Two steps forward, one step back. Even in aging.

Good for you for helping your parents--good for you.

Elizabeth E.
http://peninkpaper.blogspot.com